By Liz J.
Hipsters are not just wannabe artists, they are also wannabe Mexicans.
To me, hipsters are obnoxious, but considering I live in Williamsburg and have to see them on a daily basis, slashies wish I was invited to some of their loft parties, I just have to deal with it, they exist and probably don’t like me either. Or they probably think of me as a joke. Like, omg, you will LOVE my friend Liz, she goes tanning, teases her hair and wears frosted eyeshadow, she is hilarious— she looks like Snooti.
Oh yeah, that’s another thing— they think they can trick you into thinking they don’t watch everything you watch because they are above you and your mainstream wasys by saying things like “oh, do you like Snooit, or whatevs? From Jersey Beach?” when it’s like— um, just because you’re wearing an ironic coin skort by Obesity and Speed, red lipstick and dollar store Chinese slippers, doesn’t mean you don’t know what’s going on in pop culture, I know you Tivo that shit, spare me.
So anyway, hipsters are not only kids who’s daddy’s are lawyers and are living in lovely lofts that their parents have bought for them or give them allowances, posing as starving artists, they also wish they were Mexican.
1. Hipsters love Mexican food.
They do. Go to your creative department right now, find the dude in the ironic t-shirt, jeans, and tats, tap him on the shoulder and ask him if he likes burritos, he will say yes.
2. Hipsters love Dio de los Muertes tattoos
I must have counted 37,000 Dio de los Meurtos tattoos on the subway today— not sure why these kids love them so much or why hipsters feel such a connection to an ancient Mexican tradition, but they do. The tats are everywhere.
I saw one today on a girl’s foot who was sitting next to a girl who had it on her ankle who was next to a dude with one on his arm.
3. Hipsters love cilantro.
Hipsters are foodies and as foodies, they put cilantro in their soup, their salad, their guac, their hummus, even their pizza. Hipsters love cilantro!
You know who else loves cilantro? Mexicans!
4. Hipsters love vans.
As soon as you get off the L train, pick your stop, any stop! You will see hipsters drivin’ around in vans with mustaches listening to Mumford and Sons and tappin’ on the steering wheel to the beat.
Another type of people that loves vans, you ask?
5. Hipsters love mustaches.
Mexicans love mustaches.
Congrats hipsters, yet another piece of your ironic puzzle is cracked.
Now, invite me to a kewl loft party, please.
I will bring the guac.
Check out more from Liz on her blog.